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Archive for January, 2011

Saw this little ‘poem’ sort of thing on a friends Facebook Note, and decided to share it with you guys here. AND PROPOSE A CHALLENGE. Attempt to pronounce every word in this little poem correctly – read it aloud to yourself. Go ahead and make the attempt.

 

Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won’t it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!

 


There, now wasn’t that fun?

 

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In 2007, I had a completed novel (apparently. I forgot all about it until going back to an online community I used to be a part of to see a thread there on – you guessed it – self publishing). I was going to self publish this completed novel, but back then I knew nothing of the matter, so I asked around seeing if anyone on that community would know anything about it. A fellow member performed extensive Google searches, and found four links. Only three of them were helpful, though. I talk of these three:

Nathan Bransford’s Blog: Search for “Self Publishing”

Writer Beware: Lessons on Self Publishing

http://www.lulu.com/

 

And it should be obvious as to WHY they were helpful. Lulu itself is a legitimate DIY POD publishing service, and doesn’t scam you like say,… oh there’s quite a huge list. But anyways, among these legit ones Lulu and CreateSpace are pretty awesome ones. Anyway, even in 2007 I was pretty naive about the whole process. I had thought I would still need to go to a publishing house to print the book because I wasn’t going to print it myself – and unlike now, back then I was so naive I did not even realize that it was Lulu itself that would be my printer.

On that same community, a member whose username was something involving a breakfast cereal, asked me the following:

“But why would you want to self-publish? It’s really just not worth the time and effort. I’d say, just find an established publisher to print your book, so that you can focus just on writing.”

Effort? What effort? Self-publishing is much easier than traditional publishing. You avoid the query letters, the rejection letters, the stress of it all – you’re not a wreck.  But then of course, you have to be your own everything. If I was any good at marketing,…well I am not going to say anything, because I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging here, even though it’s a mere statement which doesn’t mean anything. Anyway, back to the point here..

“I’d say just find an established publisher to print your book so that you can focus just on writing.”

Well, Mr. Breakfast Cereal Username Person, okay then. It’s not that simple either. Going through finding agents you can trust that are highly or strongly recommended is a tough process in itself. Plus, what if I was writing some sort of a erotic space opera with a little bit of a homosexual relationship here and there? (Speaking of which, go check out my good friend and author KD Sarge on Twitter and support her and buy a copy of her book, Knight Errant, here. [Kindle Edition here]) The answer is, you know, I’d try and try again, and probably fail after multiple attempts, then give up and go the self-publishing route.

 

But yeah, I also thought that traditional publishing involved a lot of money and stuff until I did further research. I’m smarter than I was four years ago. I am sure that anybody who takes that road to travel by knows what they’re doing. And blah blah blah.

 

Anyway, that’s all… and to conclude this blog post, I just want to say one thing: This whole, “MAKING THE TEXT BIGGER WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO ADJUST IT BACK TO REASONABLE AND NORMAL SIZE” thing is getting really old. Kthxbai.

 

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I’m just going to make this simple.

  • JanNoWriMo: 50k. Currently in Progress.
  • February: Edit JaNNo novel? Possibly do FAWM? The first is looking more plausible then the second.
  • March: EdMo. The Hunt for Lane. (09NANO.) Yeah, again. I think it might need a new title, too. And maybe less things that didn’t make sense.
  • April: Script Frenzy. Again. Attempt #2. We don’t talk about 2010. But I hope I can actually GET SOMETHING DONE.
  • May: Either do MayNoWriMo, or take a break from writing and continue editing The Hunt for Lane, if my edits for it are not finished by the end of March. Or just don’t do anything, and finally plan out that family-of-mystics-fantasy-series that’s been in my head since July 2010. Oh yeah, isn’t there also NEPMo? National Epic Poetry Month? Yeah, I might try that..again.
  • June: If I take a break in May, I’ll do something. Probably continue editing THFL even more. Or just write a poem each day. I don’t know. I’ll think of something.
  • July: Probably do JulNo again, and have it be the same idea involving portraits in museums coming to life (or rather, someone looking at a painting and then the painting is actually “real” and they walk into it, and be one of the people (or things) in the painting. It’s,….very weird. I don’t even know.
  • August: Probably give yet *another* look at THFL, and then start to hate the damn thing as much as I already do. I don’t hate it because it’s not good. I hate it right now because it just…. has a lot of things that need to be explained, and hell, by this point, I might even consider spending the month writing the damn thing entirely. We’ll see what happens when we get there.
  • September: Attempt to do that 3 Day Novel Contest thing. If my family of mystics novel doesn’t make the cut, then I’ll end up doing something else. I’ll probably end up trying to do 50k because I’m nuts. (PEOPLE ALWAYS TEMPT ME WITH THESE THINGS) As far as the rest of the month goes, I… have no idea yet. Someone give me something else to do.
  • October: Figure out a project for NaNoWriMo. Have an outline so writing is made easier. And maybe improvise a little bit.
  • November: NaNoWriMo Attempt (and hopefully, Win) #4. Yeah. 2006 was #1, unofficially. Still can’t find that novel though – but I bet it won. Anyway, 07 and 08 didn’t happen, and then in 2009 I signed up in September, getting ready for attempt #2. That was a success. #3 was 2010. Yeah. Oh yeah. Somebody who reads this, give me a goal to meet for NaNoWriMo 2011. Odds are I’ll go over it.
  • December: Either go back to editing THFL (or at this point, TNIRH (the novel I really hate)), or edit something else. Maybe send in a few query letters.

    Finally, here’s some realistic non-writing goals:

  • Get a job. Whether it’s an internship at someplace where I would temporarily have to relocate to, or a desk assistance job at my campus, or something. Even McDonald’s is looking good right about now.
  • Get grades I feel I earned.
  • Go to NaNoWriMo’s Night of Writing Dangerously (I doubt it’ll happen this year, though. Unless I can book a flight to Atlanta  and meet another Wrimo friend in person (if they’re still in GA at that point, that is) that would be willing to take me as their guest. 😉 But again, I don’t think that’s going to happen, either.
  • Read 100 Books This Year. Anybody who happens to be reading this at this point, leave me recommendations in the comments below.
  • Send in a query letter to a literary agent. This was a goal last year, but that didn’t happen. So I’m going to try harder this year.

 

 

Do your worst, 2011. I dare you.

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Alright, people. Or whoever will end up reading this. Here is a short (or maybe long, I don’t know yet. I never do this early into the blog post) list of some of the things that I fell in love with in 2010. Or fell in love with again, or whatever. I don’t even know, okay?

1. Twitter

 

I’ve known about Twitter since its inception (I think it was what, 2006? 2007? I don’t remember, but it’s been here for quite a while), but I never once saw a good reason to even get one. I mean, who would follow me? Apparently, some would if I interacted with them enough or whatever they would follow me back and they would be awesome and we would talk and stuff. Why this is number one as opposed to some of the following options, I’ll never know. Anyway, around Febuary 12, 2010 (I think that’s the date anyway. I know it was in February at least. Almost a year. Wow.) I joined it, and stuff. I really wish I knew what my first tweet was though. I can’t even retrieve it from those things I find online because apparently 3690 or whatever my tweet count is now is too much for it. /Relevance .

Moving on..

 

2. Tumblr

 

First of all, who the hell applied Fight Club logic to Tumblr? You know, that whole dumb, “The first rule of Tumblr is don’t talk about Tumblr” thing. Seriously, internet? SERIOUSLY? Come on–but this ridiculous ‘rule’ that nobody ever even follows anyways still doesn’t take away from the fact that I love the damn thing so much. I’ve been neglecting it a lot recently though – and that is a bad thing.

 

3. Anthropology

 

Anthropology. I am still not quite sure why I love it so much. It may be because of my favorite show on TV, Bones, that I actually started watching in the middle of its first season –  and get this, I was actually the one who got my mother into the show and not the other way around for once. I’ve ALWAYS loved Eric Millegan’s character, Zack. You know, Brennan (Emily Deschanel)’ s assistant–before they had all of those squinterns like Fisher and Clark and Wendell and whoever else I forgot. I still watch the show to this day – and I disagreed with some of Season 4, but that is in the past.

 

4. Improv

 

Acting, making it all up as you go along edition. At my college we have this club/group/organization/whatever for improv as an outside source for say, people that do not want to – or do not have to – take the class thats being offered on it. And in two hours you can learn a lot more than you could in fifty minutes – at least i THink thats how long it is. Anyway, I love this so much.

 

5. Law & Order Special Victims Unit

 

I only recently just started watching this, and I’m quite a few seasons behind – I’ll try to catch up in the now-this year, 2011. But I love it already. I don’t have a favorite character or anything, but this is one of the best L&O’s out there to exist – maybe even the best. But that’s probably not saying a lot. Or maybe it’s saying just enough. I never know. Anyway, I’m going to keep watching this.

 

6. National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)

 

NaNoWriMo and I have a love/hate relationship. Don’t believe me? Check out my damn NaNoWriMo 2010 stats on my profile here. Some of these days included days of zero words, a few days of only about 200-ish, one of 550 words – and a few where I met daily quota at least once. Oh yeah, and one day filled with 25,086 words total. Yes. It happened. Thanks to 50kweekend. Speaking of 50kweekend, did I mention I loved Twitter? Yeah, I did. I think it was the great sushimustwrite that made the hashtag first? I know there was some sort of a discussion in the NaNoLanta chat that I apparently missed out on because I wasn’t much into chatting on IRC during November. Yet I was always in the #nanowrimo channel. Yeah, I don’t even know. But anyway, I’ve known about NaNoWriMo for a while. I think I stumbled upon it quite randomly in 2003? I didn’t participate though, and when I did, in 2006, for the first time – it was an unofficial participation. Then in 2007 & 2008, I forgot about it completely–in 2007 I didn’t even reintroduce it to myself. In 2008, I found it again…in December. DECEMBER. So I told myself I would do it officially in 2009 and from then on. 2009 was a pretty rough year, and I kind of wish I could recover my stats page from before the wipe. I do hope the good people that OLL are making a 2009 archive? (or is it up already? I don’t know. I  never know. I’m ALWAYS out of the loop of EVERYTHING.) Also now I frequent the NaNoLanta chat…quite a bit. It’s probably not gonna get any less quieter until next NaNo – how many days until that happens again, by the way? (QUICK! SOMEONE GET ME A COUNTDOWN WIDGET THING!) — It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this. **Writer received paper and a pen!

 

7. Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia

 

I knew about this fraternity for quite a while. I was initiated into it in the Spring of 2010 after going through a probationary period starting from February ending in April. I had thought about it two or three times, telling myself I can’t do it and I won’t do it-  but I pulled through and I did it anyways. Then, ever since August, I decided I would try to be at least a little active in it. And I was. I love my Brothers, and there have been some times when we had our fair share of arguments, disagreements, etc etc., but we all pulled through and we became good friends regardless of the fact. I decided to try to be more active this semester, this school year, even, and attempt to go to all of the functions and such – some plans didn’t pan out very well though. It doesn’t matter though, I still love them all very much. Too bad none of them will ever bother reading this thinking this wasn’t going to be on this list. Okay, I’ll just stop rambling now.

 

8. Greyson Chance

Oh my god. This kid right here.  The 13 year old YouTube sensation from Edmond, Oklahoma (that’s in my state! Eep! *squees like an obsessed fangirl even though he is definitely a guy*[yeah i tend to do that a lot]) that started up his career with a video of his that was sent into the Ellen Degeneres Show submissions, or whatever– that video being him performing at a 6th grade talent show or something like that, singing (and playing the piano) his own arrangement of Lady Gaga’s hit “Paparazzi”.
And Greyson was also the lucky winner of a record deal – he says most of the activity so far as been done through Interscope. But the label he’s officially signed to, according to Wikipedia anyway, the main one–is Ellen’s still relatively new label,  Eleveneleven. This kid is awesome. Oh yeah, did I mention he was my first follower on Twitter?

Rock on, Greyson. Keep doing what you’re doing, and keep being awesome. If you somehow end up reading this (which I highly doubt will happen), I hope to meet you in person one of these days and make all my friends jealous.

 

9. Lady Gaga

 

Don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming. I bet as soon as you saw “Lady Gaga” in that last one, you knew it was coming. Don’t deny it. Anyway, I’ve been a fan of Lady Gaga’s since the beginning – and by the beginning, I don’t mean when her debut album came out in, what was it, 2008? Yeah, I’ve been a fan since pretty much the middle of 2009 to present. She’s so great. I can’t tell you why – you just have to see for yourself. If you get the chance, do it. Oh, and yes, I’ll be going to one of her concerts in town in April. Go me. (Although, since the concert is on a Monday night and my fraternity has meetings on Monday nights, I’ll have to talk to them about that first. It may not be a problem, but I still think I should inform them. BUT ANYWAY, LADY GAGA. SHE’S AWESOME. Too bad she doesn’t do meet and greets anymore…. if she started them up again, my life would be complete. Hell, my life would be semi-complete if I could either catch something she’d throw at the audience – or if I touched her hand. You know, that moment in concerts. My ticket says I’m sitting pretty close to the stage, but not right by it… so, yeah. Hmm. We’ll see. Anyway moving on.

10. Woot.com

THE AWESOME SHIRT SITE. Enough said.

 

11.

 

What, were you expecting something? I just want this blog post done. Oh, you want MORE? Well too bad. Not gonna happen, not this time anyway. I’ve had it pretty rough these past week trying to get this thing written and FINISHED. But anyway, my next post will be about 2011. YAY! I’ll get to working on *that* one, now. Yes, I will. Stop doubting me. STOP IT. Okay, I should probably just click “Publish” and move on. Yeah, I’ll do that. Yeah. Alright.

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